It's Not News, It's FARK

I stumbled upon this site during my regular internet surfing today, FARK, featuring interesting, bizarre and amusing news stories which are assembled to make you laugh and relax. Odd news on FARK are up-to-date and sorted into a variety of categories, including business, sport, showbiz, geek and politics.

Overall, FARK is a weird news hub for amusement and its traffic is enormous! (Well, seems people do like to read kinky news.) Add it to your favorite now and it may help cure your gloomy time in the days to come! (With the economic downturn is getting worse day by day, you may need this site to kill time in your lay-off days, as there is really no guarantee that you will still be on the job tomorrow in this volatile age.)

Photo Gallery @ Flower Market

ET battalion was hitting flower market and posed for a photo opportunity. I installed on Zoe a pair of "ox horn" to make her more "cow-like". (click to enlarge the pic)

Two playful elves were feeding themselves some snack on the street, but the 5-yuan snack didn't taste very well. -_-

Put Paid to Something

Today I learned an expressive phrase from a piece of online news. Yeah! Never too old to learn!

Put paid to something, it means to suddenly stop someone from being able to do what they want or hope to do.

Examples here:

A serious back injury put paid to her tennis career.

The seemingly endless crisis in the banking system has put paid to that notion.

Trust to Mass Media

Today a news story caught my eyeballs, in which it threw out a report that revealed high levels of trust in the media facilitated the success of mass media health campaigns, which in turn had a positive influence on people's health. Sounds a little bit "take-for-granted" huh?

Let's read on. The report says Maldivians are the healthiest in Asia because of their trust in the mass media and its health campaigns. Well, Maldives is a far-off country that has nothing to do with us, skip it.

And here comes the most important part, the report notes people living in Hong Kong has the lowest level of trust in the mass media. What about China? The report fails to mention.

Based on general knowledge, you will not shed an optimistic light on the levels of trust in the mass media in China as it would just go even worse than HK. So is this reasonable guesswork indicative of we, as a nation, has the poorest health in Asia?

Food for thought, politicians! Go home and give it a big thought on why you are not as believable and trustworthy as those from Maldives.

IQ Test

Today I've set aside some time for an IQ test and got a score of 119. Not a bad score actually for I was classified as a "high intelligence" guy. XD

You know what, I believe if two intelligent guys, namely, Dennis and Zoe, walk together, there would be wonder!

Needless to say, a rosy future is ahead of us! We are intelligent; we are hard-working; we are caring, and most of all, we are loyal. So what else can stand in our way?

I'm not a talent, and I have never said and will never say that I'm one. Thanks to my no-talent, I work harder than anyone else on Earth. (Well, there might be some other crazy nuts working round-the-clock in another corner of the Earth, but I'm definitely one of those nuts.)

This IQ test further convinced me that I'm a good match to Zoe. =)

Outlander/外乡人 (2008)

Have you ever thought about a mix-up of laser gun,Viking and monster? Sounds too weird to be a mixture of something? Outlander takes us to an epic story line where Iron Age people needs to fight monster from a far-off world, or you should say, extraterrestrial world.

Seems this movie is not a hit and few people actually know it, but it does have a good rating on IMDB and Mtime. I don't know how it managed to get the high score but that's why I bothered to give it a watch. Overall, the movie is not too bad and I think it would be your cup of tea provided you are a sci-fi fan. Give it a go!

Illusions @ Spring Festival Evening Gala

After witnessing the magic show at Spring Festival evening gala rendered by 刘谦, I went to review a program called "revelation of magic", or 魔术大揭密 in Chinese, for curiosity's sake.

The magic show at the evening gala was so fascinating that I developed an instant fancy to the illusional tricks performed. Indeed, I gave myself a rushed go and watched some online magic tutorials in an effort to upgrade my magical skills. But after spending some time on the seemingly-easy magical tricks, I found that I would need to invest a huge amount of time on these tricks in order to make them performable. The ROI(Return on Investment) isn't impressive at all. After all, the magical tricks are easy to learn, but it may take years of practice before they are presentable. Practice makes perfect -- this is an old saying but always a right one. =(

Okay, accept the fact that I'm not a magician. Better go back to my old strength now and strut around as a "wordmonger". XD

Challenger, 28 Jan. 1986

Today is 28 January. One of the worst aeronautical disasters was on today -- the disaster of shuttle Challenger in 1986. Here is the footage of the shuttle disaster. No one would ever forget this earth-shaking space catastrophe, the worst in space shuttle history. No one would know how to react when astronauts' families, at the airbase then, as well as millions of Americans witnessed the disaster live on TV.


The calamity took place when I was only 4. At that time I was just a brat trotting and sniffing around with my parents in tail. But when I grew old later on I started to explore space in an amateurish style. With a space fancy stronger than any kids have ever displayed, I was totally magnetized by the vast universe and its unknown.

And I have a gut feeling that my unknown creativity stemmed mainly from this childhood attachment to the vast region beyond the Earth. Who knows?

I'm Outrageous

A BBC news headline caught my attention today "Sex drive link to prostate cancer". It's so scary that I clicked into the article in short order. My immediate reaction to this piece, after viewing it through, was outrageous. What a "scientific" research you have done!

First, talk about the sample. They research only elicited 400 men as research subjects, a minute number indeed that you could ignored and easily doubted. And the research method was also questionable - through questionnaire - which has been proven to be an inaccurate data collecting method.

One guy put a damper on the research by saying: "The study is retrospective, and asks men to complete a questionnaire about their sexual history. However, in relying on men to recall information from 20 or 30 years previously, it is likely that there will be some inaccuracy in the data collected as men either consciously or unconsciously forget some detail which could compromise their findings. "

Editors, please don't write killer headlines. And Scientist, please do something meaningful. Thanks!

Shuttlecock Party

Today we have a small shuttlecock, or featherball, kicking party at home. You may wonder how we could start a shuttlecock kicking party at such a small home? But we made it. The whole party was fun-filled. Me and my parents enjoyed shuttlecock kicking so much that we even made a shuttlecock broken after hundreds of rounds of joyous kicking.

Thanks to this party, I've learned two new words out of today's activity -- shuttlecock and featherball.

Enjoy your life with your family, and I'm sure this is really the greatest way to live!

Censorship is Working Fine

Strict censorship is nothing new in China, where officials go to great lengths to cut sensitive material and has once completely blocked access to western media. But you will be a little bit surprised when you get to learn even Obama's inauguration speech get censored.

In his inauguration address, President Obama said: "Recall that earlier generations faced down fascism and communism not just with missiles and tanks, but with sturdy alliances and enduring convictions."

below is the "word for word" Chinese-language version, noticing some words have been edited out, abruptly.

And here is the CCTV live report of Obama's inauguration address, a blunt made by the simultaneous interpreter. I can't help laughing out loud!

Great job! We read filtered news everyday, but when can be eat filtered food everyday?

New Year Wants

A pretty good news is that I ventured out a new year resolution yesterday and I determined to get it through. I'm greedy however. So don't be surprised to learn that I also have some "wants" during the upcoming 2009. Here is a list of all my "wants". Sorry daddy, I'm grabby, you know?

1. I want to gain 5 pounds.
2. I want to exercise more.
3. I want to work less at night.

What is/are your want/wants in the year to come? Share me!

New Year Resolution

Today is the first day of 2009, (well, I'm talking about Chinese lunar new year) and I want to catch the widely-respected trend to make a new year resolution on my blog.

Let's first take a moment to think about this: how many new year resolutions have you ever made but failed to commit to? I guess there must have been at least one or two. I've seen a sea of online articles instructing you on how to stick to a resolution, so I'm not here to repeat those tasteless creeds again. What I want to do here is to join the resolution army and make a reachable resolution.

From today onwards, I want to write a piece down on my blog every day, on whatever topic throws in my mind. Literally to say, I'm going to execute a no-holds-barred writing style. I've made a secret promise to myself that one day I want to live by my pen, or keyboard. So this new year resolution is in fact closely linked to my future career development. I hope this tiny link can bind us together and thus make my determination strong.

God bless me.

The Last Day of 2008

Today is the end of 2008, talking of the Chinese lunar new year, but I'm all alone without her aside. I miss you Zoe. I hope this winter will soon pass and we can get together again!

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I Want to Sing a Song to Speak My Mind!

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Year of Ox

The eventful year of rat has slided by and now we are heading for the year of ox. In the past, spring festival was a time to collect red envelope. Every kid tried their best to elicit red packet from seniors. There was also a tradition to compare red envelope and gave a ranking of that -- and the truth was -- I always ended up at the bottom. XD

But I think this year there will be a very different story. Now I'm 26 years old with a full-time job, and not wearing a kid face anymore. For me, red envelope is a history. So what am I expecting during this spring festival? Frankly saying, nope. It's just an usual day but with some noisy get-together. After that, I will again be on my working path. Amen.

Psychology Forces

Recently I had somehow developed an acute liking for psychology. Please allow me to throw out some psychological terms first -- aversion to loss, diagnosis bias and value attribution. These psychological undercurrents heavily influence our every day decision making process and subconsciously alter our minds and lead to some unobvious outcomes. I started to feel the significance of psychology after leafing through a couple of tomes related to this field. And when psychology is used widely in business scope, it will surely make waves. And I hope I'm not first one to fall into traps set by some psychologically informed and sophisticated marketers.

Zoe is AFD Now

Zoe will be AFD(Away From Dennis) for more than a week. Starting today, I will have to feed myself alone during lunch time; I will have to trek home with my little ragged leather bag, not with a little feminine burner. Doing things alone really hurt, as I've got used to be with my darling no matter what. So this week-long lone week is going to be a real trial on me, and I've got to weather it through, with no other better choice.

Descriptive Paragraphs

I got to take these down as they are beautiful descriptions worthy to be copied later in my writing.

Session One:

"Even in the remotest hinterlands, mountain paths teem with families making the long but joyful trek home, possession slung over parents' shoulders, laughing children skipping in anticipation of grandma's cooking or grandpa's tall tale."

Session Two:

"Kayaking on the Lake Wanburg can be a disconcerting experience. The scene is quintessentially southern. The lake, or should we say swamp, is surrounded by wild marsh grass and a canopy of towering tress draped in thick Spanish moss, their roots dipping into the warm water. Insects buzz day and night, and the mosquitoes can drive you mad.

味如嚼蜡

This is what I've learned from Zoe today - 味如嚼蜡. It means tasteless, insipid or lacking flavor.

Good! I think my Chinese is catching up with the standard, and I'm sure I will reach the top notch in the imminent days.

Thank you Zoe, you make my learning of Chinese sweet! Though I'm learning at a slow pace, I'm still progressing. And each small step will ultimately matter on my way to become a Chinese guru. Water me Zoe! I'm a good seed! =)

No White Lie

Well, today I had a small issue with Zoe because of one of my past excuses. Yes, coming up an excuse for something is easy, but to hold that self-made excuse for life is as hard as to hold a bomb in your bare hands, which is like on the brink of an explosion.

Zoe, I didn't mean to hide anything from you. Maybe I'd given out some white lies before in order to make my life easier. But I am by no means a cheater.

And I will not lie anymore, since I've learned from the lesson today that you would have to pay a high price to cover a lie you told previously, even it's just a tiny, trivial and insignificant white lie.

This 否(pi3) is Not That 否(fou3)

Here is just another farce I have produced, or you can say, another anecdote we left on our life album.

At lunch table today, I ventured out a new phrase learned from Internet 否极泰来. I thought I was smart and felt very good about myself. However, my word was met by a big laughter from Zoe. I did smell something and subsequently she pointed out my wrong pronunciation of the 否(pi3).

I think this word will be forever etched into my heart. Well, a very good way to learn word, by making a show of myself!

Why I Write

Greetings and salutations. Here is Dennis again. Last time my piece "Who The Hell is Dennis" resonated so much among audience who wanted to get a deeper peep into my personal life. Well, if I may say so, everyone is a peeper in some point of his/her life. Am I right?

I'm a lifetime "Guangzhouese", born in Guangzhou, raised in Guangzhou, educated in Guangzhou and currently worked for an IT company in Guangzhou.

Ironically enough, I did get lost even in my native city. I think my distorted sense of direction was born, but Zoe later rebutted this concept and said it was trained.

Ok, let's cut all the blah blah blah and back to the point.

My passion has always been for the written words, though I do enjoy the spoken and vocal versions from time to time. My disinterest in spoken and vocal versions doesn't translate to a weakness in my oral expression. By contrary, oral language is something that I'm really good at.

Writing has been a headache for many people, but that's clearly not my case. I had somehow developed a sense of writing during my toughest time in life, when I wanted to record down every bit of my life, sweet or bitter, on paper for a later share or recollection.

My initial thought on writing was that it was a way to help out my memory. My little brain was not able to store all my past so I got to get help from diary, which later crept online and got a new moniker -- blog, to scribble down the funnies as well as the saddest things occurred to me.

This strategy worked well.

It turned out that all the time spent in writing was well bestowed. I started to distinguish myself from others by being able to write fluently and readily.

There is only one message I would like to send here at the end of my piece -- writing is not gifted.

If you want to write well, start writing today, period. It may take years of endless writing before you can achieve something, however, you would not even get that something if you stay put and dream about an overnight change on your writing skills.

Two Weirdoes

Two weirdoes are taking photos.

A truth cannot be hidden: the left guy is way smarter than the one in right hand side.

Would I have to say "女侠饶命" when Zoe see my words? God knows...

Not The Least of Which

Today I stumbled upon a phrase in a plane crash news report and found it worth taking notice.

Here is the news:

"The account offered Saturday night by the U.S. safety agency - based on interviews conducted with the plane's crew - had numerous startling elements, not the least of which was the fact that Sullenberger, who has been hailed by the mayor of New York and President George W. Bush for his skill and bravery, was not at the controls at takeoff."

not the least of is a phrase used when you are giving an important reason for something, or an important example of something.

Here are some examples for this phrase:

There were several reasons for dismissing him from his post．not the least of which was his neglect of duty.

There are many drawbacks to the use of conventional shrink films, not the least of which is corrosion.

保持通话 Connected (2008)

Connected deserves its relatively successful box office run of HK$13 million by delivering a breathtaking carbon copy of Cellular. The whole story centres on a man receives a distressing phone call from a woman who has been kidnapped, and subsequently the story spreads itself in a very heart-stirring way. Happy to see HK movie is creeping up to our must-watch list, which in the past consisted of mainly western blockbusters.

占宇金句

如果我有一双模特的腿，我不介意长得像车祸现场。

English version: I don't care how awkward I look if I got a pair of model-standard legs.

Announced after watching a fashion model cat-walking on TV.

But,

I do care. XD

Two Tag Lines Learned

Call it a game or something, now I have two tag lines to remember in the rest of my life. Starting from today, if I got smacked by Zoe once, I would say "女侠饶命" in response, twice for "小的不敢了"

Sounds like a SM game, anyway. It is just one way to satisfy her vanity. XD

Who The Hell is Dennis?

Dennis(AKA Damnist) is 26 years of age and has been working at UE, in a good many positions, for around 3 years. To say Dennis is an Internet maniac is something of an understatement. Dennis is not in himself a daydreamer, though he used to think he would meet a venture capitalist someday in the future to turn an innovative project into a cash cow. Dennis achieved almost nothing early in his life, but eventually realized there might be something he had been missing out on by not being able to understand life properly.

In February of 2006, he joined UE and was initially installed in a customer service slot, working both day and night shift.

A few months into his job, he started to display a wide range of quasi-ridiculous thoughts.

Another couple of months later, he began to act out his quasi-ridiculousness brilliantly, and in creative ways..

Unsurprisingly, Dennis lived up to his ridiculousness throughout his working life at UE, and earned some kudos due to that.

Dennis is not rich. Dennis also doesn't have any magical secret for learning English quickly and successfully. He learns it pretty much the same way every earthling does.

Dennis was a very poor student and skipped classes in bulk, and felt guilty of truancy sometimes. But later Dennis was pleased to discover that no one actually cared if he was in classroom or not. Dennis doesn't want to imply that college is bad or anything. He's just saying that there is always other ways out.

When Dennis was younger, he fought on streets a lot, and once took on 3 guys in a single fight, and won. Sadly, matureness has made Dennis less aggressive and battlesome.

Dennis has never really lost in any battle and contest, important or unimportant. But he did lose a lot in his native city, thanks to his distorted sense of direction.

Dennis found and fell in love with his better half during a backbreaking house-moving, when he confessed to a fairy-like girl, the first time in his life, all the wrongdoings of his past. And popped the question subsequently in an unrestrained manner.

She accepted, after imposing an IQ test on Dennis.

Now, Dennis is just another ordinary guy trying to be a man, with heart afire.

From Past to Current

Time flies. Me and Zoe have walked arm in arm through a lot of episodes and scenarios, some were sweet, others were bitter. Past experiences flashed up in our minds as Zoe recalled how she tried to shun my first kiss, how she felt embarrassed in my tight bear hug and how she shivered as I inadvertently lay on her legs.

One of her recalls was very noticeable. She recalled that I would be terminated if I had failed to remove a barrette from a foamed plastic, which she set up as an IQ test on me. That was really a critical moment. I was so lucky to win over her.

From strange to intimate, we had gone through assorted experiences together. But I know, deep down, it is just the beginning of an endless colorful life.

Our time has come.

ResizeImage For Quick Online Image Cropping And Resizing

Omg, technology has never failed to amaze me. Here I'd like to introduce a very handy online image resizing and cropping tool - ResizeImage. You can test its power by uploading a pic and throw some clicking and dragging on it. ResizeImage is a good web-based kit that may help out when you don't have pro image editing tool at hand. Moreover, it's too easy to understand that no one would ever bother writing a tutorial about it. Try it out today and see what technology could do for you!

Birthday to Mother

How exciting to receive a birthday gift from your son? My case can tell the truth. Me and Zoe bought a present today, a red lambwool coat, for my mom as a birthday gift. My mom swooned and pecked me a solid kiss when she got the clothes. The scene was so heart-warming, and I felt it was one of the biggest moments in my life.

I love you mom!

A Memorable Night

This Sat. me and Zoe took a trip to Guangya high school, with a goal to check out some archaic architectures along the way. The trip proved itself a very delightful one. We saw many antiquated but exquisite constructions, which astounded me so much as I lived all my years amid cement-and-steel kingdom and never saw something beautiful made-of-brick. After a fruitful but exhausting journey, we arrived at Beijing road to feed our stomachs. This time was different, because we didn't sit ourselves at a eating house. Instead, we ate assorted snacks while walking down the neon-lit street, experiencing the happiness emanated from a night city. We fed ourselves like pigs until our stomachs said no eventually, and perched on a wooden chair to have a chat about our past funny moments. A very nice and memorable night! ^3^

Playing Card Magic

Days ago I showed Zoe a card magic that stunned her along with two other female colleagues. The magic was simple but the trick involved was not easy to spot. I performed successfully several times without being caught. After a few begging from Zoe, I decided to instruct her the secrets of the playing card magic. She learnt it quickly and went so far to try her first magical performance on the spot. Though awkwardly, she made it at last. Her virgin performance stuck Atty and produced an exclamation of surprise which made her happy throughout the day.

Well done Zoe! =D

叶问/Ip Man (2008)

Martial art movie again by Donnie Yen. Well, I'm not going to sing high praise for this movie, though I love it because all the beating scenes, especially the scenes depicting Yip Wen beating Japanese armymen with his bare fist. I know I hate Japanese due to history. All those unforgettable invasions and massacres have been deeply etched into my mind and will never be erased till the end of my life. I get irrationally excited when Yip Wen defeated the commander of Japanese army and summoned up patriotism among unarmed Chinese. Though I think overall the movie is kinda dull, but it is a movie worthy of your 2 idel hours.

BTW: Do you know why the movie is named "Ip Man"? In Cantonese, Ip pronounces 叶. =)

非诚勿扰/If You Are The One (2008)

According to the advertisement, If You Are The One is a romantic comedy film that makes you laugh, but that's not in my case.

Throughout this commonplace flick, I couldn't crack up. I did feel that the movie was made to present as a comedy, but the fact was that it failed in every aspect. The love displayed in the movie was disgusting and fake, and it is the main source of stupidity that ultimately pushed me to rate it as 'below par.'

Not impressive. Thank you Feng Xiaogang.

梅兰芳/Forever Enthralled (2008)

Forever Enthralled is one of Zoe's favorites and so we decided to feast our eyes on this special-effect-free biopic with a discounted price, 50 yuan for two real-bargain tickets. Frankly speaking, I had no impression on Beijing opera, not to mention knowing who on earth Mei Lanfant is. I even thought Mei Lanfang is a she. (sorry for my operatic illiteracy)

However, everything changed after viewing this biographical account of Mei Lanfang, China's greatest opera star. Now another color of life has been added, and I feel more complete.

A funny episode: Zoe was too exciting at the cinema and spoke uncontrollably during the movie time, fiannly ired the audience sitting in front of her, and got a verbal warning as a result. =D

Zoe's Show

OMG, How amazing the photo is! I love you Zoe!

But, the most creative one is this, a thief-like Zoe is showing off her beauty in a poster!

Goal in 2009

Here comes another year!

2009 is new and fresh, however, my goal remains unchanged.

My prime goal this year is to wed Zoe and establish a cozy family environment.

This is not a new year resolution, which generally fails without notice. This is a goal etched in my memory and I will love on it throughout 2009.